Vocation is born in grief, and grief becomes prayer
Prepared for the Irvine chapter of the Google Christian Fellowship
In the month of Chislev, in the citadel of Susa, Nehemiah’s brother Hanani arrives with news from Judah: the remnant is in great trouble and shame; Jerusalem’s wall is broken down, its gates burned with fire. Nehemiah sits down and weeps. For days he mourns, fasts, and prays before the God of heaven. His prayer moves from adoration of the covenant-keeping God to confession—“even I and my father’s house have sinned”—to the promise given through Moses: scattered for unfaithfulness, gathered upon return. Only then a petition: give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy “in the sight of this man.” The chapter closes quietly: “Now I was cupbearer to the king.”
“As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven.”Nehemiah 1:4
“I weep for my people…I and those who have been before me are unworthy to have mercy shown unto us because of the evil of our works”King Solomon, in the Kebra Nagast · Kebra Nagast ch. 69 (trans. Budge)
“Weeping is the way the Scriptures and our Fathers give us, when they say ‘Weep!’ Truly, there is no other way than this.”Abba Poemen · Apophthegmata, Poemen 119 (trans. Ward)
“The confession of evil works is the beginning of good works.”St. Augustine · Tractates on the Gospel of John 12.13
“The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.”Henri Nouwen · The Wounded Healer
“Daniel, therefore, does not accumulate so many words in vain, when he wishes to confess his own sins and those of the people.”John Calvin · Commentary on Daniel, on Dan. 9:5-7 (trans. Myers) — on the confession-prayer parallel to Nehemiah 1
“You never lighten the load unless first you have felt the pressure in your own soul.”Alan Redpath · Victorious Christian Service: Studies in the Book of Nehemiah (on Neh. 1)