Of the second evil: the danger of self-conceit and presumption.

These Supernatural Apprehensions of the Memory, if attended to, or regarded at all, are to spiritual men occasions of vanity or presumption. For as he who has no experience of them, is exceedingly free from this vice, because he sees nothing in himself whereon to presume; so on the other hand he, to whom they are familiar, has an ever-present reason for thinking himself to be something, seeing that he is the object of these visitations. It is very true that he may attribute all to God and give thanks, looking upon himself as utterly unworthy; nevertheless a certain secret self-satisfaction and conceit, on the subject of these Apprehensions, will grow up in the mind, out of which, unawares, great spiritual pride will arise.. Men might see this very clearly, if they would but reflect on that feeling of dislike and aversion produced in them by those, who do not commend their spirit, or attribute no value to their experiences, and on that feeling of distress, which they have when they are told

that others also have the like or greater gifts. All this is the fruit of secret self-esteem and pride, and they cannot be made to understand that they are steeped in it up to their very eyes.

They think that a certain recognition of their own wretchedness is sufficient, while at the same time they are filled with secret self-esteem and personal satisfaction, taking more delight in their own spirit and gifts than in those of another. They are like the Pharisee who thanked God that he was ‘ not as the rest of men,’ and that he practised such and such virtues: he was satisfied with himself, and presumed upon his state. ‘O God,I give Thee thanks,’ said he, ‘that I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers... I fast twice in a week, I give tithes of all that I possess.’* Now these men do not say this in so many words, as the Pharisee did, but they habitually think so; and some of them even become so proud as to be worse than devils. When they are conscious of certain feelings, and devotional sweetness in the things of God, as they imagine, they become so self-satisfied, that they look upon themselves as most near unto God, and upon others, unconscious of the like feelings, as most unworthy, and they despise them as the Pharisee did the Publican.

To avoid this pestilent evil, abominable in the sight of God, there are two considerations to help us. The first is that virtue does not consist in these apprehensions and feelings about God, however sublime they may be, nor in any personal experiences of this kind, but, on the contrary, in that which is not matter of feeling at all,—in great humility, contempt of ourselves and of all that belongs to us, profoundly rooted in the soul; and in being glad that others

* 9, Luke xviii, 11, 12, VOL. I. ) Q

1.

in

or

have the same opinion of us, and in not wishing to be

thought well of by others at all.

unconself,

evil,— of

The second is, that all visions, revelations, and heavenly feelings, and whatever else is greater than these, are not worth the least act of Humility bearing the fruits of that Charity which neither values nor seeks itself, which thinketh no evil except of self, and which thinketh well not of self, but of all others. Let men, therefore, cease to regard these supernatural apprehensions, and labour rather to forget them, that they may be free.